Meet the Dissidians
by Thaliel
Summary: Dissidia...made into a reality TV Show
1. Chapter 1

Welcome to the show!

Hostess: Good evening ladies, gentleman and all you FF Fanatics out there. Tonight is the beginning of an all new Final Fantasy experience. Yes! To serve only you, our beloved FF fans, the producers put up this great show. Now what do you have to expect? Well, nothing more than the 20 original Dissida characters, stuffed into one place and watched by over ONE MILLION CAMERAS, and that 24/7. This is: Meet the Dissidians!

So let us begin by showing you where our cast will be housing from now on: The House of Dissidia! The upper floor will be the home to the Cosmos Character, meaning it is the Cosmos Floor. And the ground floor, then, will be home to the Chaos characters, making it the Chaos Floor. Each floor is not only supplying 10 bedrooms and 2 baths (with Jacuzzi and all), but also, one will find 2 snuggly lounges with Flatscreen TVs, nicely filled bookshelves(shhh, there might be porn, too), Pool tables, stripping poles - which will find use in some exciting challenges later- and lots of other details we will surprise you- the fans- with during the show. Each week, both floors will be given a challenge to earn exclusive meals, presents or other surprises. Be sure that we will have some major action going on between our rivalling teams.

And that is still not all! There will be some very interesting –and often hot-looking – guests coming over from all kinds of fandoms. Now is that not exciting?!

Well than, let us begin to fill our house, please welcome our cast!

*all 20 future inhabitants of the house wave at the cameras*

Now for the few of you not knowing, let us introduce each inhabitant one by one, starting with the Cosmos Team.

WOL: Good evening, I am the Warrior of light, or WOL for short.

Hostess: What is with those horns? o_O

WOL: I like the horns, I wear the horns, point.

Hostess: …erm, okay, let us move on then.

Firion: Hello all you out there. I'm Firion. *winks*

Hostess: You have some…interesting clothes…

Firion: Oh, thanks XD

Hostess: -_- onwards please

OK: Hiiiiiii! I am the Onion Knight, and I am SO excited about this! *jumps up and dowm like a rubber ball*

Hostess: Yeah, I noticed. Who's next?

Cecil: Greetings, my name is Cecil Harvey. *bows*

Hostess: Ah, the "knight in shining armour"-type…

Cecil: Pardon?

Hostess: Never mind, next one!

Bartz: Hey there! Name's Bartz, and I'll bring some excitement into this.

Hostess: Now that is what the producers want. We'll be curious what you have to offer.

Bartz: Hehehe, you won't be disappointed, I'm sure.

Hostess: Is our next inhabitant also as promising?

Terra: Uhm, I am not sure about all this…

Hostess: Oh don't you worry, we will make sure nobody gets murdered…or raped. Just tell the audience out there your name.

Terra: Well I am Terra Branford, pleased to meet you…I guess.

Hostess: Welcome Terra, now let's go on.

Cloud: Good evening, I am Cloud strife.

Hostess: …you ever smile or something?

Cloud: …later…maybe

Hostess: Allllllllllllllright…anyways. Next up is…

Squall: …

Hostess: Hey there, Mr. Dark and gloomy, introduce yourself.

Squall: Fine, but only due to that vicious contract I was forced to sign. Squall Leonheart, not here on free terms…

Hostess: Aw hush, you'll come to play along.

Zidane: Is it my turn now?

Hostess: Impatient huh? Well go ahead.

Zidane: Name's Tribal, Zidane Tribal *poses*

Hostess: Be assured we do not accept a license to kill…Now we come to our 10th and final Cosmos Team member

Tidus: *playing around with his blitzball* Hey everybody!

Hostess: Good, all the 10 of you will now be moving in to the Cosmos floor. While you select your bedrooms, we will be introducing the members of team Chaos.

Garland: Garland, my pleasure.

Hostess: Not so much mine…but oh well, next please?

Emperor: I am an emperor, this filthy place is not worthy of my presence.

Hostess: Take what is available. NEXT!

COD: Greetings, underlings. You may refer to me as the could of Darkness

Hostess: Gods, wear some CLOTHES! Next one, quick!

Golbez: I am Golbez, Cecil's Brother.

Hostess: So the liking for armour is a family thing…Now who do we continue with?

Exdeath: No other than the almighty Exdeath!

Hostess: Geez, another armour freak -_- Onwards!

Kefka: Hello hello hello! Kefka Palazzo, at your service.

Hostess: YIKES! Get away, you creepy clown!

Sephiroth: Shall I slay him?

Hostess: Thanks, but we need him…I guess. Just introduce yourself.

Spehiroth: I am Sephiroth, AKA the One-Winged Angel.

Hostess: How…nice. Next!

Ultimecia: I am Ultimecia, ruling over time itself.

Hostess: Well then don't waste ours and make place for the next one.

Kuja: Salutations, I am Kuja, pleased to meet you *handkisses Hostess*

Hostess: Ohhhhhhh, eh,hehehe *giggles* Can we please move on?

Jecht: Finally. Got tired of waiting. Name's Jecht.

Hostess: Ever heard you bear some resemblance to a certain movie pirate?

Jecht: Nope, thanks for the information.

Hostess: Nevermind. So that is our 10 Chaos team members. Now that we have them all introduced, it is time to leave them alone for a bit. Well, alone with the cameras in the house, of course. Tune in to the next episode where we will be showing the best shots from our inhabitants moving in and battling for the best beds.


	2. Halloween

AN: Dissidia and ist characters are owned by SquareEnix, Jack Skellington is owned by Disney and Tim Burton

II. Halloween

Hostess: Welcome back to **Meet the Dissidians**! Our two teams have merely begun to accommodate themselves in our house when we will be confronting them with their first challenge. For that, we have also invited a very special guest to pick the challenge winner. But first of all, let us see what the inhabitants will do when they will hear a strange tuneechoing through the house.

*Camera shows inside of the house*

Right now, everyone is still sound asleep, but not for very much longer.

*a melody starts playing, coming seemingly from nowhere. WOL and Garland wake first, soon to meet with everybody else on the staircase*

WOL: Who or what is producing these sounds?

Emperor: And what is that person thinking disturbing my beauty sleep?

Kuja: Ha! Beauty…as if!

Emperor: You be silent, shorty.

Kuja: I am not short, merely a little vertically handicapped.

WOL: OK you two, that is enough. Could we focus on these strange sounds now?

Tidus: To me, it sounds as if they're coming from the garden.

Golbez: What would anyone be doing in the garden during the middle of the night?

WOL: We may just find out.

*everyone gets out into the garden, only to see that it has been remodelled into a mini version of Halloweentown*

Hostess: Welcome everyone! You have arrived just in time to witness the highlight event in our Halloween-themes episode! And now, please welcome our special guest, bringing Halloween to the max: Mr. Jack Skellington!

*Jack appears out of nowhere and starts chanting*: This is Halloween, this is Halloween, pumpkins scream in the dead of night. This is Halloween, everybody make a scene, trick or treat till the neighbours gonna die of fright…

*Terra clings to OK, obviously scared*: How c-c-c-creepy!

OK: Uh huh!

*Jack suddenly pops up behind OK's back*: Boo!

*OK and terra screm to the top of their lungs and fade*

Jack: Tehehehe, we have some scaredy cats here.

Squall: I know you from somewhere…

Jack: Yeah, Kingdom Hearts…wasn't that fun?

Squall: …

Jack: You never change…

Hostess: Now that you have got to know each other – and after Terra and OK are back from schock-, it is time for our guest to present to you the first challenge.

Jack: My pleasure. Now listen. I want AT LEAST five people from each team to show me their best Halloween costumes. The more authentic you appear, the better you score. The one with the best costume will win a bucket full of Halloween treats for the whole team. Start now, as this all will be vanishing before the sundown of the upcoming day.

*everyone scatters through the house, looking for material to make a costume from. The afternoon has already progressed when the two teams gather again in the garden to hav their costumes judged*

Jack: Welcome back, contestants. I can already see some nifty ideas over there. So now I want every single one who is wearing a costume to step up and ay what they are representing or alternatively, use a well-known quote of the character you have dressed up as.

*Terra steps up first, even though Jack still scares her somehow*: I felt like being a princess, so I choose to go as Cinderella. I even found a pair of glass shoes lying around.

Jack: Ah, I remember that pretty one from KH, too. Though that one was blonde, you're not bad in that dress. Just be sure to be home before midnight, sweetie *he grins at her and winks, which scares Terra off* Wonder what her problem is…girls.

*Cloud steps forward, all dressed in yellow feathers and fluff*: I got this idea from Firion. He said I would look like Boko, the Chocobo. So I guess I will have to do this now…KWEH!

Jack: Oh what a nice birdie you are. Polly want a cookie?

*Cloud just ignores Jack and walks off*

Squall: Guess I am next, though I still wonder why exactly I am doing this: I hereby present you my silly costume: Aslan, the Great Lion of Narnia.

Jack: Here kitty, kitty! Can you roar?

Squall: I would prefer not to…

Jack: Awwwwww…ok next up!

COD: I have chosen to represent the Queen of hearts from Alice in wonderland.

Jack: The last time I saw her, she was a bit more…dressed. Next please?

*Golbez is being accompanied by the Imperial march. He makes some asthmatic sounds*: This is my presentation of Darth Vader. And also…I am your father.

Jack: I don't think you are, but thank you for the presentation

Ultimecia: I decided to go as a character I can identify with. So I came to dress as Jadis, the White Witch.

Jack: A lion, a witch…now we just need a wardrobe…next one?

*jecht steps up, not looking much different than usual*: Arrrrr, matey! It is Captain Jecht…err, Jack Sparrow.

Jack: You did not have to change much, right? But how nice to have such an impressive namesake. So that was our final candidate. After seeing your costumes, I will now announce the winner of the competition…For authenticity, I have chosen Golbez as the winner with his Darth Vader costume…and he scares even me. Here is your award: a bucket full of candy!

WOL: Do you think it wise to prevent them with tons of sugar?

Jack: It is not me who has to share a house with a group of people who is on sugar high. Enjoy! *He laughs manically and disappears in thick cloud of fog*

Hostess: What a day! I hope you all enjoyed our Halloween challenge. Tune in again next episode of **Meet the Dissidians!**


End file.
